No Decision is Sometimes the Answer

We read self-help books because we judge that we need helping, that there are aspects of our lives that no longer serve us and we need to change. I have been an avid reader of self-help books for many years but have never been able to follow through with the teaching. I would start to speak affirmations, write a journal, set goals, change the words I say to myself, design a vision board, but have never completed the exercises recommended to make me a better person with a perfect life.

Maybe the reason I have not been able to follow through is because this is not the right route for me. Whilst it is useful to learn from others, their journey is not mine.

We have our own answers to the path we should follow. 


My thoughts have changed over the years; we have our own answers to the path we should follow.  I believe if we listen to our inner voice then we flow through life much easier because we are following the path that is right for us and not copying the methods and ideas of another.

My inner voice is my intuition, when I listen I am always right. When I ignore it I am always wrong. There have been times when I have ignored my intuition because it was really inconvenient at the time. But it resulted in life situations pointing me in the right direction further down the line.

For example: I had been feeling unsatisfied with my job for a couple of years,  I knew what I was doing, it paid well and some days were really enjoyable, so the nagging feeling in my stomach and the lack of enthusiasm to get out the bed some mornings were ignored.  Quite frankly I did not want the hassle of looking for something else.  Life was about to provide me a lesson in the form of a broken shoulder. I had two months off work, despite the pain and discomfort in the first two weeks I started to feel very different. I had not realised how stressed and wrapped up in work I had become. It had consumed my life, including weekends when I was often on call for 24 hours (taking phone calls from hospitals throughout the country) or back-up for new members of staff.

You can still enjoy yourself with your arm in a sling, I went on my yearly ranch riding holiday, and yes I did ride, albeit at a walk. I read a mountain of books and relaxed in the sunshine. I slept like a baby, I felt human again.  It was during this holiday I realised that I really needed to change my job, however at that point I had no idea what I wanted to do.

Two months later I returned to work and it wasn’t long before the nagging feeling returned, augmented by a new manager. Whilst I started to look at other job opportunities and speak with recruitment companies there was something stopping me from pursuing any of them.  I would start to update my CV but just couldn’t bring myself to complete it.  So I made some decisions:

  • I am not going to make a decision
  • It’s okay not to know the answer right now

Three months later the stars were aligned; I was made redundant. The organisation was going through a management restructure, my role was obsolete.  

As human beings we seem to think we must have all the answers right here right now. We put so much pressure upon ourselves to know and do the right thing. I was able to step back and wait for the answer.  It was an answer I could not have predicted, it was not a goal, it was not part of vision board, I did not ask for it yet it was perfect for me.

I gave myself a life lesson:

Published date: July 2, 2019

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